Parents are sometimes afraid that they will push their children away by talking to them about drug use. You may be worried that your child will get in trouble with the law and that it may affect his or her ability to qualify for scholarships or get a job. But kids who make a choice — one or more times — to use drugs or alcohol are at a crossroads and need your help. Overcoming your own fears is an important step in getting help for your child. See our Parents Drug Resource page for more information.
Family members — even parents — sometimes introduce kids to drugs. Parents need to acknowledge their own problem if they are going to help their children with theirs.
The most important thing to remember is that it is never too early or too late to take action regarding your kid’s drug use. Parents are the most important part of a kid’s life; your actions on their behalf can make a difference.
When you have a suspicion, what do you do? First, learn as much as you can. Check out various resources (see our other posts).
The next thing you can do is sit down and talk with your child. Be sure to have the conversation when all of you are calm and have plenty of time. This isn’t an easy task. Your feelings may range from anger to guilt, or you may feel that you have “failed” because your kid is using drugs. This isn’t true. By staying involved, you can help them stop using drugs and make choices that will make a positive difference in their lives.
Tell your child what you see and how you feel about it. Be specific about the things you have observed that cause concern. Make it known that you found drug paraphernalia (or empty bottles or cans). Explain exactly how their behavior or appearance (bloodshot eyes, different clothing) has changed and why that worries you. Tell them you’ve noticed that they have new friends that you don’t necessarily know or approve of.
Let your kids know that you love them and that you will drug test them. When your kids know that you do drug test them, they have a great excuse for their friends, "No way, my parents drug test me!" Many parents wait until it is too late to drug test. The truth is, there is no good excuse not to drug test your teens. For more information, see our Home Drug Test page.
It is important to set clear ground rules in your family about drug and alcohol use — e.g., in this family, we don’t smoke marijuana — and to let your kids know that you will enforce these rules.
Have this discussion without getting mad or accusing your child of being stupid or bad or an embarrassment to the family. Knowing that kids are naturally private about their lives, try to find out what’s going on in your child’s life. What is he doing? When was the last time he used? Did he do anything that he regrets? Try not to make the discussion an inquisition; simply try to connect with your teen. Find out if friends or others offered your child drugs at a party or school. Did they try it just out of curiosity, or did they take the initiative to use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? That alone will be a signal to your child that you take your responsibility as a parent seriously and that you will exercise your parental rights.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Some Things To Keep In Mind When You Talk To Your Child
• Tell your son or daughter you LOVE him/her and that you are worried that he/she might be using drugs or alcohol.
• Say that: You KNOW that drugs may seem like the thing to do, but doing drugs can have serious consequences;
• It makes you FEEL worried and concerned about them when they do drugs;
• You are there to LISTEN to them;
• You WANT them to be a part of the solution;
• What you will do to HELP them.
Know that you will have this discussion many, many times. Talking to your kids about drugs and alcohol is not a one-time event.
Be prepared for your teen to deny using drugs. Don’t expect them to admit they have a problem. Your child will probably get angry and might try to change the subject. Maybe you’ll be confronted with questions about what you did as a kid. If you are asked, experts agree that it is best to be honest. Answering deceptively can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever find out that you’ve lied to them.
On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable answering the question, you may decide that the time is not right to discuss your previous drug use. As with other possibly sensitive topics such as sex, you should talk about it when you’re ready. However, if the time comes to talk about it, you can give short, honest answers like these:
“When I was a kid, I took drugs because some of my friends did. I thought I needed to in order to fit in. We didn’t know as much as we do now about all the bad things that can happen when you smoke marijuana or use other drugs — especially when you are a teenager. If I’d known then about the consequences, I never would have tried drugs, and I’ll do everything I can to help keep you away from them.”
“Everybody makes mistakes. When I used drugs, I made a big one. I’m telling you this, even though it’s embarrassing, because I love you and I want to save you from making the same stupid decision I made when I was your age.”
“I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn’t control the risks — the loss of trust of my parents and friends. There are much better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs.”
• Say that: You KNOW that drugs may seem like the thing to do, but doing drugs can have serious consequences;
• It makes you FEEL worried and concerned about them when they do drugs;
• You are there to LISTEN to them;
• You WANT them to be a part of the solution;
• What you will do to HELP them.
Know that you will have this discussion many, many times. Talking to your kids about drugs and alcohol is not a one-time event.
Be prepared for your teen to deny using drugs. Don’t expect them to admit they have a problem. Your child will probably get angry and might try to change the subject. Maybe you’ll be confronted with questions about what you did as a kid. If you are asked, experts agree that it is best to be honest. Answering deceptively can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever find out that you’ve lied to them.
On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable answering the question, you may decide that the time is not right to discuss your previous drug use. As with other possibly sensitive topics such as sex, you should talk about it when you’re ready. However, if the time comes to talk about it, you can give short, honest answers like these:
“When I was a kid, I took drugs because some of my friends did. I thought I needed to in order to fit in. We didn’t know as much as we do now about all the bad things that can happen when you smoke marijuana or use other drugs — especially when you are a teenager. If I’d known then about the consequences, I never would have tried drugs, and I’ll do everything I can to help keep you away from them.”
“Everybody makes mistakes. When I used drugs, I made a big one. I’m telling you this, even though it’s embarrassing, because I love you and I want to save you from making the same stupid decision I made when I was your age.”
“I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn’t control the risks — the loss of trust of my parents and friends. There are much better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs.”
Parents Who Care
Despite all of your efforts to keep your kids drug-free, one day you might suspect that your son or daughter is using drugs or alcohol. Perhaps you have found an odd-looking pipe in his room, cans and bottles in the car or rolling papers in her laundry. Or you overheard a conversation not meant for you. Whatever the signal, your gut instinct has been activated.
Every day, approximately 4,700 American youth under age 18 try marijuana for the first time. That is about equal to the enrollment of six average-sized U.S. high schools. In 2003, nearly nine out of 10 twelfth graders reported marijuana as being accessible. By the time they finish the eighth grade, approximately 50 percent of adolescents have had at least one drink, and more than 20 percent report having been “drunk.” Drug and alcohol use by teens increases the risk of addiction and can change the developing brain for life.
Despite these statistics, one thing remains true: Parents are the most important influence in a teen’s decisions about drug use. You can and do make a difference. If you suspect or know that your child is using drugs, take action now, because the longer you wait, the harder it will be to deal with your child’s drug use.
Whether you are a parent, grandparent or any other person who cares about a child's future, it is important that you have knowledge about how to prevent teen drug abuse. It's hard for us to imagine that a child we love could end up using drugs. But chances are, most children will be faced with, "Should I, or shouldn't I?" As parents we must teach our children to know that the answer is, "I shouldn't, and I won't."
Here are some facts about kids and drug use: Forty percent of U.S. teens say they expect to use a drug in the future. One out of every five kids in eighth grade has already tried marijuana. Use of substances such as marijuana and inhalants can result in social consequences (e.g., failing in school) and physical consequences such as reduced stamina and fitness or damage to the lungs and brain. Teens who smoke cigarettes are more likely to drink alcohol. Teens who smoke and drink are more likely to use marijuana. And those who use all three are more likely to use other illicit drugs. Long-term studies show that use of other illicit drugs among youth almost never occurs unless they have first used marijuana.
If you suspect your teen has been using drugs or drinking alcohol, it's important to act quickly: the longer your teen abuses substances, the more likely they are to become addicted. If you do find the problem is beyond your expertise, there are teen drug treatment programs that specialize in the special needs of this population.
Be especially scrutinizing as you determine the drug rehab program that meets your child's specific needs. Many of these teen programs also offer boarding school academics so they can continue to earn credits while recovering from their addiction.
Every day, approximately 4,700 American youth under age 18 try marijuana for the first time. That is about equal to the enrollment of six average-sized U.S. high schools. In 2003, nearly nine out of 10 twelfth graders reported marijuana as being accessible. By the time they finish the eighth grade, approximately 50 percent of adolescents have had at least one drink, and more than 20 percent report having been “drunk.” Drug and alcohol use by teens increases the risk of addiction and can change the developing brain for life.
Despite these statistics, one thing remains true: Parents are the most important influence in a teen’s decisions about drug use. You can and do make a difference. If you suspect or know that your child is using drugs, take action now, because the longer you wait, the harder it will be to deal with your child’s drug use.
Whether you are a parent, grandparent or any other person who cares about a child's future, it is important that you have knowledge about how to prevent teen drug abuse. It's hard for us to imagine that a child we love could end up using drugs. But chances are, most children will be faced with, "Should I, or shouldn't I?" As parents we must teach our children to know that the answer is, "I shouldn't, and I won't."
Here are some facts about kids and drug use: Forty percent of U.S. teens say they expect to use a drug in the future. One out of every five kids in eighth grade has already tried marijuana. Use of substances such as marijuana and inhalants can result in social consequences (e.g., failing in school) and physical consequences such as reduced stamina and fitness or damage to the lungs and brain. Teens who smoke cigarettes are more likely to drink alcohol. Teens who smoke and drink are more likely to use marijuana. And those who use all three are more likely to use other illicit drugs. Long-term studies show that use of other illicit drugs among youth almost never occurs unless they have first used marijuana.
If you suspect your teen has been using drugs or drinking alcohol, it's important to act quickly: the longer your teen abuses substances, the more likely they are to become addicted. If you do find the problem is beyond your expertise, there are teen drug treatment programs that specialize in the special needs of this population.
Be especially scrutinizing as you determine the drug rehab program that meets your child's specific needs. Many of these teen programs also offer boarding school academics so they can continue to earn credits while recovering from their addiction.
Parents In Denial?
Drug Use Is Serious! Drug and Alcohol Abuse Leads To Serious Problems.
Most adults acknowledge that drug experimentation by teens is risky and can lead to serious trouble. But some say “it’s only marijuana,” or “it’s only alcohol,” or “it’s a rite of passage.” Not any more. The world has changed, and so have the drugs. In fact, the marijuana of today is stronger than ever before. And kids are using drugs and alcohol at a much younger age, when their bodies and brains are still developing and more vulnerable to their effects. Drug and alcohol use can lead to many negative consequences, including bad grades, broken friendships, family problems, physical injuries and trouble with the law.
Substance use (including alcohol, which is illegal in all 50 states for people under the age of 21) can change the direction of a young person’s life — physically, emotionally and behaviorally. It can weaken the ability to concentrate and retain information during a teen’s peak learning years, and it can impair judgment, leading to risky decision-making that could involve sex or riding in a car with someone under the influence of drugs.
“Experimentation,” even with marijuana, can also lead to addiction. Not everyone progresses from use to abuse to addiction, but it is a dangerous road, and there is no way to know who will develop a problem and who won’t. Research shows that kids start using drugs and alcohol because they feel the need to take risks or they believe it will help them fit in or feel better. Sometimes they use drugs because they are seeking relief from stress or feelings of depression. And it’s important to remember that there is, sometimes, a genetic risk for addiction — just like heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other diseases.
Drug and alcohol use by teens is not something to be taken lightly. More teens are in treatment for marijuana dependence than for all other illicit drugs combined. A 1998 study by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that if a teen starts to drink at 15, he or she has a 40 percent chance of alcoholism or alcohol dependence as an adult.
Marijuana affects alertness, concentration, perception, coordination and reaction time, many of the skills required for safe driving and other tasks. These effects can last up to 24 hours after smoking marijuana. Marijuana use can also make it difficult to judge distances and react to signals and sounds on the road. Regular use of marijuana leads to some changes in the brain that are similar to those caused by cocaine, heroin or alcohol.
How can you tell if your child is using drugs?
It is difficult because changes in mood or attitudes, unusual temper outbursts, changes in sleeping habits, changes in hobbies or other interests are common in teens.
Signs and Symptoms - What Should You Look For?
• Negative changes in schoolwork; missing school or declining grades
• Increased secrecy about possessions or activities
• Use of incense, room deodorant or perfume to hide smoke or chemical odors
• Subtle changes in conversations with friends, e.g., more secretive, using “coded” language
• New friends
• Change in clothing choices — new fascination with clothes that highlight drug use
• Increase in borrowing money
• Evidence of drug paraphernalia, such as pipes, rolling papers
• Evidence of inhaling products and accessories, such as hairspray, nail polish, correction fluid, paper bags and rags, common household products
• Bottles of eye drops, which may be used to mask bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils
• New use of mouthwash or breath mints to cover up the smell of alcohol
• Missing prescription drugs — especially narcotics and mood stabilizers
These changes often signal that something troubling is going on and may involve alcohol or drugs.
Most adults acknowledge that drug experimentation by teens is risky and can lead to serious trouble. But some say “it’s only marijuana,” or “it’s only alcohol,” or “it’s a rite of passage.” Not any more. The world has changed, and so have the drugs. In fact, the marijuana of today is stronger than ever before. And kids are using drugs and alcohol at a much younger age, when their bodies and brains are still developing and more vulnerable to their effects. Drug and alcohol use can lead to many negative consequences, including bad grades, broken friendships, family problems, physical injuries and trouble with the law.
Substance use (including alcohol, which is illegal in all 50 states for people under the age of 21) can change the direction of a young person’s life — physically, emotionally and behaviorally. It can weaken the ability to concentrate and retain information during a teen’s peak learning years, and it can impair judgment, leading to risky decision-making that could involve sex or riding in a car with someone under the influence of drugs.
“Experimentation,” even with marijuana, can also lead to addiction. Not everyone progresses from use to abuse to addiction, but it is a dangerous road, and there is no way to know who will develop a problem and who won’t. Research shows that kids start using drugs and alcohol because they feel the need to take risks or they believe it will help them fit in or feel better. Sometimes they use drugs because they are seeking relief from stress or feelings of depression. And it’s important to remember that there is, sometimes, a genetic risk for addiction — just like heart disease, diabetes, cancer and other diseases.
Drug and alcohol use by teens is not something to be taken lightly. More teens are in treatment for marijuana dependence than for all other illicit drugs combined. A 1998 study by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that if a teen starts to drink at 15, he or she has a 40 percent chance of alcoholism or alcohol dependence as an adult.
Marijuana affects alertness, concentration, perception, coordination and reaction time, many of the skills required for safe driving and other tasks. These effects can last up to 24 hours after smoking marijuana. Marijuana use can also make it difficult to judge distances and react to signals and sounds on the road. Regular use of marijuana leads to some changes in the brain that are similar to those caused by cocaine, heroin or alcohol.
How can you tell if your child is using drugs?
It is difficult because changes in mood or attitudes, unusual temper outbursts, changes in sleeping habits, changes in hobbies or other interests are common in teens.
Signs and Symptoms - What Should You Look For?
• Negative changes in schoolwork; missing school or declining grades
• Increased secrecy about possessions or activities
• Use of incense, room deodorant or perfume to hide smoke or chemical odors
• Subtle changes in conversations with friends, e.g., more secretive, using “coded” language
• New friends
• Change in clothing choices — new fascination with clothes that highlight drug use
• Increase in borrowing money
• Evidence of drug paraphernalia, such as pipes, rolling papers
• Evidence of inhaling products and accessories, such as hairspray, nail polish, correction fluid, paper bags and rags, common household products
• Bottles of eye drops, which may be used to mask bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils
• New use of mouthwash or breath mints to cover up the smell of alcohol
• Missing prescription drugs — especially narcotics and mood stabilizers
These changes often signal that something troubling is going on and may involve alcohol or drugs.
Parents - Reach Out To Your Teenage Children
If you would like to see your kids stay drug free, then take this pledge:
I Will Talk to My Teen About Drugs: Only a third of parents talk to their teens about the risks of using drugs and alcohol,
despite research showing that kids are less likely to use if parents have these conversations.
I Will Set Clear “No-Drug” Rules: Telling your teen that drugs and alcohol are not allowed—and outlining the consequences
for breaking the rules—are important steps to keeping your child drug-free.
I Will Be More Involved: Teens whose parents are involved in their lives are less likely to use illicit drugs or alcohol, or to be
involved in other risky behaviors. Talk to other parents about their rules and level of involvement, too.
I Will Ask the Right Questions: Know what your children are doing when they are away from you, where they go and who
their friends are. Know what they do on and offl ine. And monitor digital activities, too, such as Internet usage, text messaging
and social networking sites.
I Will Stay on Top of Emerging Drug Threats: Keep up with what new drug trends teens might be into, such as using
prescription drugs to get high. Track quantities of medications in your own home; dispose of old pills safely and properly, and
ask others, such as family members, to do the same.
Many parents don’t believe there is a generation disconnect between
them and their teen.) How much do parents really know about their teen’s world?
Especially as teens adopt new technologies so quickly?
Teens may be a hard study, but knowing more about their world and the infl uences
around them will help you connect better with your teen.
Research shows that parental monitoring is effective in reducing risky behaviors
among teens. In fact, teens who are not regularly monitored by their parents are
four times more likely to use illicit drugs.1 And while 80% of parents believe that
alcohol and marijuana are not available at the parties their teens attend, 50% of
teen partygoers attend parties where alcohol, drugs or both are available.2
These tasks take you a step closer to bridging the generation gap with your teen. To learn more about how parents like you are
connecting better with their teens, try these Action Items and report back at www.TheAntiDrug.com/ParentChronicles:
• Pick up your teen’s mp3 player and go to the “Top 25 Most Played” section. Listen for references to alcohol, drugs or
other risky behaviors. Then talk with your teen about what you heard.
• Visit social networking sites like MySpace.com, and browse the profi les of teens your child’s age to see what they say,
what their interests are and what they are doing online.
• Can you name your teen’s favorite TV show? Watch it with him or her and discuss story lines.
• Go to a video sharing Web site and type in “smoking weed.” Watch some of the videos. Did you know that your teen
might be exposed to these images?
I Will Talk to My Teen About Drugs: Only a third of parents talk to their teens about the risks of using drugs and alcohol,
despite research showing that kids are less likely to use if parents have these conversations.
I Will Set Clear “No-Drug” Rules: Telling your teen that drugs and alcohol are not allowed—and outlining the consequences
for breaking the rules—are important steps to keeping your child drug-free.
I Will Be More Involved: Teens whose parents are involved in their lives are less likely to use illicit drugs or alcohol, or to be
involved in other risky behaviors. Talk to other parents about their rules and level of involvement, too.
I Will Ask the Right Questions: Know what your children are doing when they are away from you, where they go and who
their friends are. Know what they do on and offl ine. And monitor digital activities, too, such as Internet usage, text messaging
and social networking sites.
I Will Stay on Top of Emerging Drug Threats: Keep up with what new drug trends teens might be into, such as using
prescription drugs to get high. Track quantities of medications in your own home; dispose of old pills safely and properly, and
ask others, such as family members, to do the same.
Many parents don’t believe there is a generation disconnect between
them and their teen.) How much do parents really know about their teen’s world?
Especially as teens adopt new technologies so quickly?
Teens may be a hard study, but knowing more about their world and the infl uences
around them will help you connect better with your teen.
Research shows that parental monitoring is effective in reducing risky behaviors
among teens. In fact, teens who are not regularly monitored by their parents are
four times more likely to use illicit drugs.1 And while 80% of parents believe that
alcohol and marijuana are not available at the parties their teens attend, 50% of
teen partygoers attend parties where alcohol, drugs or both are available.2
These tasks take you a step closer to bridging the generation gap with your teen. To learn more about how parents like you are
connecting better with their teens, try these Action Items and report back at www.TheAntiDrug.com/ParentChronicles:
• Pick up your teen’s mp3 player and go to the “Top 25 Most Played” section. Listen for references to alcohol, drugs or
other risky behaviors. Then talk with your teen about what you heard.
• Visit social networking sites like MySpace.com, and browse the profi les of teens your child’s age to see what they say,
what their interests are and what they are doing online.
• Can you name your teen’s favorite TV show? Watch it with him or her and discuss story lines.
• Go to a video sharing Web site and type in “smoking weed.” Watch some of the videos. Did you know that your teen
might be exposed to these images?
How To Talk To Teens About Drugs
How To Talk To Teens About Drugs
Very few parents would argue with the idea that teens shouldn’t do drugs – but when it comes to actually imparting that message to their own children, many moms and dads are hesitant to have “the talk” about steering clear of illicit substances. Regardless of the reasons for this reluctance – fear of upsetting their teens, discomfort over being confronted over their own behavior, belief that they don’t know enough to adequately address the subject – the result is often a default “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” that is encourages teen sneakiness and parental ignorance.
The good news for parents is that talking to your kids about drugs isn’t nearly as difficult as you might think it will be. Educating them about these dangerous substances when they are young – and continuing to emphasize your message as they transition through their teen years – can help prepare them to make smart, healthy decisions that will keep them safe and make you proud.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), the following advice can help even the most hesitant parents open a healthy line of communication between themselves and their children:
• Educate yourself – There has never been an easier time to learn the basics about issues related to teens and drugs. The Internet, your local library, and the guidance counselors at your children’s schools are three excellent places to begin your education. The more you learn, the more confident you will become – and the more comfortable and authoritative you will be when talking to your teens.
• Be clear and direct – Your children may not agree with everything you tell them, but they need to have a clear understanding of where you stand. Your primary message – zero tolerance when it comes to drugs and alcohol – should be the foundation of every discussion you have with your children about this topic.
• Be open-minded and accessible – Remember: These are discussions, not lectures. It’s important that you clearly express your point of view – but you also need to encourage your teens to share their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Your willingness to participate in an ongoing, open, and honest dialogue with your children will make them much more likely to attach value to what you say to them.
• Stay calm – Drug use can be a stressful subject, but that doesn’t mean your discussions have to devolve into shout-fests. You may hear some things from your children that upset you – but by keeping your cool, and focusing on facts, you can show your kids that they can talk to you about uncomfortable issues without fear that you will overreact, belittle, or berate them.
• Stay relaxed – In addition to remaining calm yourself, do whatever you can to keep the entire conversation more casual in nature. A formal family sit-down can create tension, cause your children to “clam up,” and diminish the effectiveness of the talk – all before anything has even been said. Avoid taking a “we have to talk” approach, and instead bring up the topic of drugs and alcohol in relaxed, nonthreatening environments such as a trip to the mall or while sharing a snack in front of the television.
• Use ‘teachable moments’ – Take advantage of opportunities to talk about drugs and alcohol whenever they occur – such as when watching a TV show or movie about the topic, hearing a song that glorifies drug abuse, or reading a news article about teens and illicit substances. This helps continue the dialogue, and emphasizes that “the drug talk” wasn’t just a one-time thing.
• Practice what you preach – Your words are important, but they pale in comparison to your activities. For example, if you regularly drink alcohol or use drugs, don’t think that your kids don’t know – and don’t expect them to follow your “do as I say, not as I do” advice. Avoiding hypocrisy is always a good idea – and when it comes to your children, your honesty and sincerity can make all the difference in the world.
There’s no one “right way” to talk to your children about drugs – and there’s no one-size-fits-all template for how to do so effectively. You may not be an expert on drug use and prevention, but you are an expert on the one thing that matters most: your children. Talk to them openly, honestly, and – most importantly – often. They may not thank you for your efforts, but if they lead healthy lives and make smart decisions, what you’ll receive will be much greater than gratitude.
Very few parents would argue with the idea that teens shouldn’t do drugs – but when it comes to actually imparting that message to their own children, many moms and dads are hesitant to have “the talk” about steering clear of illicit substances. Regardless of the reasons for this reluctance – fear of upsetting their teens, discomfort over being confronted over their own behavior, belief that they don’t know enough to adequately address the subject – the result is often a default “don’t ask, don’t tell policy” that is encourages teen sneakiness and parental ignorance.
The good news for parents is that talking to your kids about drugs isn’t nearly as difficult as you might think it will be. Educating them about these dangerous substances when they are young – and continuing to emphasize your message as they transition through their teen years – can help prepare them to make smart, healthy decisions that will keep them safe and make you proud.
According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), the following advice can help even the most hesitant parents open a healthy line of communication between themselves and their children:
• Educate yourself – There has never been an easier time to learn the basics about issues related to teens and drugs. The Internet, your local library, and the guidance counselors at your children’s schools are three excellent places to begin your education. The more you learn, the more confident you will become – and the more comfortable and authoritative you will be when talking to your teens.
• Be clear and direct – Your children may not agree with everything you tell them, but they need to have a clear understanding of where you stand. Your primary message – zero tolerance when it comes to drugs and alcohol – should be the foundation of every discussion you have with your children about this topic.
• Be open-minded and accessible – Remember: These are discussions, not lectures. It’s important that you clearly express your point of view – but you also need to encourage your teens to share their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Your willingness to participate in an ongoing, open, and honest dialogue with your children will make them much more likely to attach value to what you say to them.
• Stay calm – Drug use can be a stressful subject, but that doesn’t mean your discussions have to devolve into shout-fests. You may hear some things from your children that upset you – but by keeping your cool, and focusing on facts, you can show your kids that they can talk to you about uncomfortable issues without fear that you will overreact, belittle, or berate them.
• Stay relaxed – In addition to remaining calm yourself, do whatever you can to keep the entire conversation more casual in nature. A formal family sit-down can create tension, cause your children to “clam up,” and diminish the effectiveness of the talk – all before anything has even been said. Avoid taking a “we have to talk” approach, and instead bring up the topic of drugs and alcohol in relaxed, nonthreatening environments such as a trip to the mall or while sharing a snack in front of the television.
• Use ‘teachable moments’ – Take advantage of opportunities to talk about drugs and alcohol whenever they occur – such as when watching a TV show or movie about the topic, hearing a song that glorifies drug abuse, or reading a news article about teens and illicit substances. This helps continue the dialogue, and emphasizes that “the drug talk” wasn’t just a one-time thing.
• Practice what you preach – Your words are important, but they pale in comparison to your activities. For example, if you regularly drink alcohol or use drugs, don’t think that your kids don’t know – and don’t expect them to follow your “do as I say, not as I do” advice. Avoiding hypocrisy is always a good idea – and when it comes to your children, your honesty and sincerity can make all the difference in the world.
There’s no one “right way” to talk to your children about drugs – and there’s no one-size-fits-all template for how to do so effectively. You may not be an expert on drug use and prevention, but you are an expert on the one thing that matters most: your children. Talk to them openly, honestly, and – most importantly – often. They may not thank you for your efforts, but if they lead healthy lives and make smart decisions, what you’ll receive will be much greater than gratitude.
How do I talk to my teen?
This can be a difficult and often emotionally-challenging task. Parents come in so many forms. There are the “helicopter” parents that hover over their children, watching every move.
There are they “buddy” parents, who want to be friends with their children. Some parents are not involved at all with their children, while others limit their interaction to only the necessary tasks. There is a vast majority of parents who just try to do the right thing.
Let’s cut to the chase. You are the parent, so be the parent. As a parent, you want to be involved with your child. Preventative measures concerning the use of drugs and alcohol are important for parent. Just talking to your kids is huge. When you do have a conversation, understand that talking to your teens should be a dialogue, not a monologue. Commonly, teens think their parents are pretty lame, stupid, uninformed, old fashioned and out of touch. That’s a given. Commonly parents think they should lecture the child and not listen to what that child has to say. You can see that any communication is difficult when neither party wants to hear.
Teenagers are people, so talk to them like people. You can be authoritative without being authoritarian. What is your teen’s understanding of drug abuse? What have they experienced in their school, with their friends? What is a point of commonality that you can use to make a connection with your kid? Listen for that. They will probably have ideas that are counter to your own, so listen to them and try to pick up on themes and common points to find agreement. So often the conversation turns into an argument because the teen or the parent gets mad. “You’re not listening to me!”
Think of communicating with your teen as a process. Teens tune out the parents because the parents lack credibility with them. I am older than most people who read this response, but I can vividly remember my teenaged years and how difficult it was to get my parents to listen to me. It was hard for them to just listen, mainly because they did not agree with my reasoning, or even how I felt about anything. I was always wrong. They were always right. Allow your teen to express their ideas and feelings. Talking to your kids about drugs isn’t a debate; it’s a conversation, an exchange of ideas. If you are willing to listen, you might want them to tell you about drugs. You can ask the questions, just as if you were talking to a drug abuse professional. The idea is to get them thinking about the answers to questions. If it’s their idea, chances are better that they’ll engage and maybe discover for themselves the seriousness of the subject.
Teenagers are no strangers to drugs in the schools. They may not be equipped to answer important and complex questions about drugs, but they know who is using and they know where they can buy drugs. They have this feeling of invisibility, so if they are using, it’s not a problem because they’re going to live forever. They’re growing up and discovering so many new things. You need to tune into that experience. Remember your own youth and how you felt. Look for the common experience and demonstrate your understanding of their viewpoints.
Don’t point fingers at them, or issue ultimatums and threats. Rather, try to make a loving connection with them, to allow them to see a larger picture. They need to know you love them, so tell them so. Listen to them and give them ample opportunity to open up and talk to you. As the old saying goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” This is a good saying to remember.
Be the parent. Love your children. Be in charge.
There are they “buddy” parents, who want to be friends with their children. Some parents are not involved at all with their children, while others limit their interaction to only the necessary tasks. There is a vast majority of parents who just try to do the right thing.
Let’s cut to the chase. You are the parent, so be the parent. As a parent, you want to be involved with your child. Preventative measures concerning the use of drugs and alcohol are important for parent. Just talking to your kids is huge. When you do have a conversation, understand that talking to your teens should be a dialogue, not a monologue. Commonly, teens think their parents are pretty lame, stupid, uninformed, old fashioned and out of touch. That’s a given. Commonly parents think they should lecture the child and not listen to what that child has to say. You can see that any communication is difficult when neither party wants to hear.
Teenagers are people, so talk to them like people. You can be authoritative without being authoritarian. What is your teen’s understanding of drug abuse? What have they experienced in their school, with their friends? What is a point of commonality that you can use to make a connection with your kid? Listen for that. They will probably have ideas that are counter to your own, so listen to them and try to pick up on themes and common points to find agreement. So often the conversation turns into an argument because the teen or the parent gets mad. “You’re not listening to me!”
Think of communicating with your teen as a process. Teens tune out the parents because the parents lack credibility with them. I am older than most people who read this response, but I can vividly remember my teenaged years and how difficult it was to get my parents to listen to me. It was hard for them to just listen, mainly because they did not agree with my reasoning, or even how I felt about anything. I was always wrong. They were always right. Allow your teen to express their ideas and feelings. Talking to your kids about drugs isn’t a debate; it’s a conversation, an exchange of ideas. If you are willing to listen, you might want them to tell you about drugs. You can ask the questions, just as if you were talking to a drug abuse professional. The idea is to get them thinking about the answers to questions. If it’s their idea, chances are better that they’ll engage and maybe discover for themselves the seriousness of the subject.
Teenagers are no strangers to drugs in the schools. They may not be equipped to answer important and complex questions about drugs, but they know who is using and they know where they can buy drugs. They have this feeling of invisibility, so if they are using, it’s not a problem because they’re going to live forever. They’re growing up and discovering so many new things. You need to tune into that experience. Remember your own youth and how you felt. Look for the common experience and demonstrate your understanding of their viewpoints.
Don’t point fingers at them, or issue ultimatums and threats. Rather, try to make a loving connection with them, to allow them to see a larger picture. They need to know you love them, so tell them so. Listen to them and give them ample opportunity to open up and talk to you. As the old saying goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” This is a good saying to remember.
Be the parent. Love your children. Be in charge.
Drugs and Teens: What can parents do?
It’s every parent’s nightmare facing teen drug addiction. As children enter their teenage years they begin to separate from their parents, explore the adult world and fashion an image of their place in it.
Even the most conscientious parents may not be able to protect their teens from the predatory lure of drugs, readily available in or around all schools.
Borrowing a sports analogy, the best defense against teenage drug use is a good offense.
Parents need to equip themselves with solid information about teen drug addiction , a realistic view of their child and access to professional help if there are any early warning signs of drug use and find a good drug rehab.
Warning Signs of Teen Drug Addiction:
School: Is your child keeping up with his/her school work? Have they lost interest in going to school and look for excuses to stay home? Call the school and keep track of your child’s attendance in class. I coach football and basketball for middle school and high school. I get attendance records and if a teen has missed class, they don’t play in the games.
But do you know your child skipped second period math class?
Are there days when you think your child has gone to school, but the attendance records do not match up?
Children who are in trouble with drugs will often begin failing classes, not turning in homework assignments or in general just fall behind. “I can’t believe Johnny is failing math, it was always his favorite subject.” A new pattern has emerged and it isn’t pretty. Schools have open campuses, allowing kids to come and go. They can easily slip into the community and get into trouble.
Health: As a person slips into teen drug addiction a variety of physical signs point to drug abuse. Are they listless all of the time? Kids don’t want to get up in the morning anyway, but they don’t always refuse to get moving. Weight loss and weight gain are signs. Are there changes in eating habits? The eyes are an indicator. Has the life gone out of their eyes, or is there a major change?
Appearance: This can be a difficult area to discern, as fashions change and often times what adults feel is acceptable dress may not have anything to do with current trends. Watch for changes in dress.
Does a child lose interest in how they look? Kids want to fit in and there is peer pressure influence on the way they dress. Girls, especially, are bombarded with images on appearance. Has there been an attitude shift? Have grooming habits changed?
Attitude and Behavior: As children enter their teen years it is natural for them to want to break away from the family. When kids go to extremes to make sure you don’t know who they’re with or what they are doing, the red flag should go up. When they become secretive and guarded, when their privacy at home prevents your open access to them, look for something beyond mere adolescent rebellion.
Money can be a sign. If their only interaction with the parents is to ask for money, and when asked why they need money they refuse to answer, or become indignant, that is an indicator of possible drug abuse. Worse yet, they may steal items from home to buy drugs.
Communication is Essential
Communicating with teens can be a challenge, especially because they are beginning to spread their wings and desire independence from mom and dad. Stay calm.
The most common mistake parents can make is trying to force ideas and values on the defiant teenaged mind.
I was that way. There's a leadership responsibility that always needs to be in evidence, and parents need to be parents. Trying to be “best buddies” is not a good strategy. However, parents need to meet their children where they are at. That means trying to understand the situation from your child’s perspective.
Teenagers will probably come up with some very wrong reasoning, seriously flawed ideas and their whole world view will likely be counter to that of their parents. But they have a NEED to be heard and respected.
It’s one thing to accept an opinion counter to your own, and it’s quite another to approve of it. Try working with your teen’s ideas and concepts, and have an open and non-threatening discussion about them. You can establish rules of engagement with your teen and agree that both of you are allowed to express ideas and opinions without fear of retribution.
The key is to remember that the parent needs to be the one in control. As a chaplain, I do a lot of counseling work and my approach is entirely patient-centered. They establish the themes of the conversation, but even though I am not deciding the topic, or necessarily directing the conversation, I am still in control.
Remember that your teenager, like a patient in a hospital, is probably going to be very myopic. He/she will see things only from their perspective.
Take a step back and see the entire situation. Go with their feelings, their concerns and walk down their path. Share the experience.
Parents are the front line of the fight against teen drug addiction. Don’t push that responsibility off to the schools. Rather, partner with the school counselors, teachers and administrators, never forgetting that you are the one responsible for your teen. If drug abuse or addiction enters your home, seek professional help and form another partnership in the effort.
Be in control. Be honest. Be alert. Be proactive.
Have you ever wondered WHY your teens are more susceptible to drug abuse and addiction? Teenage drug abuse is common; read why...
Even the most conscientious parents may not be able to protect their teens from the predatory lure of drugs, readily available in or around all schools.
Borrowing a sports analogy, the best defense against teenage drug use is a good offense.
Parents need to equip themselves with solid information about teen drug addiction , a realistic view of their child and access to professional help if there are any early warning signs of drug use and find a good drug rehab.
Warning Signs of Teen Drug Addiction:
School: Is your child keeping up with his/her school work? Have they lost interest in going to school and look for excuses to stay home? Call the school and keep track of your child’s attendance in class. I coach football and basketball for middle school and high school. I get attendance records and if a teen has missed class, they don’t play in the games.
But do you know your child skipped second period math class?
Are there days when you think your child has gone to school, but the attendance records do not match up?
Children who are in trouble with drugs will often begin failing classes, not turning in homework assignments or in general just fall behind. “I can’t believe Johnny is failing math, it was always his favorite subject.” A new pattern has emerged and it isn’t pretty. Schools have open campuses, allowing kids to come and go. They can easily slip into the community and get into trouble.
Health: As a person slips into teen drug addiction a variety of physical signs point to drug abuse. Are they listless all of the time? Kids don’t want to get up in the morning anyway, but they don’t always refuse to get moving. Weight loss and weight gain are signs. Are there changes in eating habits? The eyes are an indicator. Has the life gone out of their eyes, or is there a major change?
Appearance: This can be a difficult area to discern, as fashions change and often times what adults feel is acceptable dress may not have anything to do with current trends. Watch for changes in dress.
Does a child lose interest in how they look? Kids want to fit in and there is peer pressure influence on the way they dress. Girls, especially, are bombarded with images on appearance. Has there been an attitude shift? Have grooming habits changed?
Attitude and Behavior: As children enter their teen years it is natural for them to want to break away from the family. When kids go to extremes to make sure you don’t know who they’re with or what they are doing, the red flag should go up. When they become secretive and guarded, when their privacy at home prevents your open access to them, look for something beyond mere adolescent rebellion.
Money can be a sign. If their only interaction with the parents is to ask for money, and when asked why they need money they refuse to answer, or become indignant, that is an indicator of possible drug abuse. Worse yet, they may steal items from home to buy drugs.
Communication is Essential
Communicating with teens can be a challenge, especially because they are beginning to spread their wings and desire independence from mom and dad. Stay calm.
The most common mistake parents can make is trying to force ideas and values on the defiant teenaged mind.
I was that way. There's a leadership responsibility that always needs to be in evidence, and parents need to be parents. Trying to be “best buddies” is not a good strategy. However, parents need to meet their children where they are at. That means trying to understand the situation from your child’s perspective.
Teenagers will probably come up with some very wrong reasoning, seriously flawed ideas and their whole world view will likely be counter to that of their parents. But they have a NEED to be heard and respected.
It’s one thing to accept an opinion counter to your own, and it’s quite another to approve of it. Try working with your teen’s ideas and concepts, and have an open and non-threatening discussion about them. You can establish rules of engagement with your teen and agree that both of you are allowed to express ideas and opinions without fear of retribution.
The key is to remember that the parent needs to be the one in control. As a chaplain, I do a lot of counseling work and my approach is entirely patient-centered. They establish the themes of the conversation, but even though I am not deciding the topic, or necessarily directing the conversation, I am still in control.
Remember that your teenager, like a patient in a hospital, is probably going to be very myopic. He/she will see things only from their perspective.
Take a step back and see the entire situation. Go with their feelings, their concerns and walk down their path. Share the experience.
Parents are the front line of the fight against teen drug addiction. Don’t push that responsibility off to the schools. Rather, partner with the school counselors, teachers and administrators, never forgetting that you are the one responsible for your teen. If drug abuse or addiction enters your home, seek professional help and form another partnership in the effort.
Be in control. Be honest. Be alert. Be proactive.
Have you ever wondered WHY your teens are more susceptible to drug abuse and addiction? Teenage drug abuse is common; read why...
Are You Enabling Your Child's Drug Use?
You’re not helping your child if you make excuses when you know your child misses school or family functions because of “not feeling well,” especially when you suspect something else is at play. Take the next step: Get more information and talk to your child.
When do you take action? Sooner rather than later is always the best. You can immediately begin to more closely monitor your child’s activities. Have a few conversations. Ask why he/she is using drugs. Get to know your kid’s friends and their parents. When you get a better idea of the situation, then you can decide what the next steps should be. These could include setting new rules and consequences that are reasonable and enforceable — such as a new, earlier curfew, no cell phone or computer privileges for a period of time, or less time hanging out with friends. You may want to get them involved in new or other activities that will keep them busy and help them meet new people. For more information about how to address your teen’s alcohol and drug use and how to set and enforce rules, see our resource list at the end of this page.
Have Uncovered A Problem?
The most important thing you can do is to not deny its existence. If you don’t think you can handle it yourself, ask for help. You are not alone. Many parents have been in your shoes. Find them for support and insight. Contact someone at your child’s school. Remember, school staff can be your best ally. While it may be difficult to get past the feelings of embarrassment and failure, the truth is asking for help is the best thing you can do for your child, yourself and your family. The most important thing is for you to take action on your child’s behalf — help him/her stop using drugs and alcohol. Look to your community for resources to help you. Also, there are many prevention and treatment specialists who can guide and inform you:
• School counselors and student assistance professionals
• Employee assistance professionals
• Family doctors or pediatricians
• Nurses
• Faith leaders
• Community health centers
• Adolescent prevention or treatment professionals
• Local community anti-drug coalitions
Ask your child if there is someone they trust or feel comfortable talking to. They shouldn’t necessarily make the final decision, but they are more likely to be an active participant if they have a say in what happens.
Take your child to the doctor or talk to the school nurse and ask him or her about screening your child for drugs and alcohol. This may involve the health professional asking your child a simple question, or it may involve a urine or blood drug screen. Drug testing of kids is a complicated issue and is best done within the context of a doctor-patient-parent relationship. Sharing your concerns with your health professional can help you get the advice and assistance you need. If you have an appointment with your child’s doctor, call ahead to make time to discuss this issue.
It may also help to talk to other parents who have experienced what you are going through. You may feel as though you are the only family dealing with this issue, but know that there are parent support groups in your community.
Parents Are The Most Important Influence In a Child’s Life
Research shows that parents are central to preventing teen drug use. In fact, kids them¬selves say that losing their Influence in a parents’ trust and respect are the most important reasons not to use drugs. As a parent, your actions matter. When you suspect, or know, that your child has been drinking or using drugs, take action to stop it as soon as you can. It may be the most important step you ever take.
When do you take action? Sooner rather than later is always the best. You can immediately begin to more closely monitor your child’s activities. Have a few conversations. Ask why he/she is using drugs. Get to know your kid’s friends and their parents. When you get a better idea of the situation, then you can decide what the next steps should be. These could include setting new rules and consequences that are reasonable and enforceable — such as a new, earlier curfew, no cell phone or computer privileges for a period of time, or less time hanging out with friends. You may want to get them involved in new or other activities that will keep them busy and help them meet new people. For more information about how to address your teen’s alcohol and drug use and how to set and enforce rules, see our resource list at the end of this page.
Have Uncovered A Problem?
The most important thing you can do is to not deny its existence. If you don’t think you can handle it yourself, ask for help. You are not alone. Many parents have been in your shoes. Find them for support and insight. Contact someone at your child’s school. Remember, school staff can be your best ally. While it may be difficult to get past the feelings of embarrassment and failure, the truth is asking for help is the best thing you can do for your child, yourself and your family. The most important thing is for you to take action on your child’s behalf — help him/her stop using drugs and alcohol. Look to your community for resources to help you. Also, there are many prevention and treatment specialists who can guide and inform you:
• School counselors and student assistance professionals
• Employee assistance professionals
• Family doctors or pediatricians
• Nurses
• Faith leaders
• Community health centers
• Adolescent prevention or treatment professionals
• Local community anti-drug coalitions
Ask your child if there is someone they trust or feel comfortable talking to. They shouldn’t necessarily make the final decision, but they are more likely to be an active participant if they have a say in what happens.
Take your child to the doctor or talk to the school nurse and ask him or her about screening your child for drugs and alcohol. This may involve the health professional asking your child a simple question, or it may involve a urine or blood drug screen. Drug testing of kids is a complicated issue and is best done within the context of a doctor-patient-parent relationship. Sharing your concerns with your health professional can help you get the advice and assistance you need. If you have an appointment with your child’s doctor, call ahead to make time to discuss this issue.
It may also help to talk to other parents who have experienced what you are going through. You may feel as though you are the only family dealing with this issue, but know that there are parent support groups in your community.
Parents Are The Most Important Influence In a Child’s Life
Research shows that parents are central to preventing teen drug use. In fact, kids them¬selves say that losing their Influence in a parents’ trust and respect are the most important reasons not to use drugs. As a parent, your actions matter. When you suspect, or know, that your child has been drinking or using drugs, take action to stop it as soon as you can. It may be the most important step you ever take.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Have The "Marijuana Discussion" With Your Pre-Teen
Your 10-year-old tells you a friend offered him some marijuana (or other substance). You can begin your conversation by asking for more information.
Q: “What do you know about marijuana (or other substance)?”
A: [Chances are your child will have some information on marijuana (or other substance), but not all of the information may be accurate. If your child doesn’t know about the harms of marijuana (or other substance), you can do the following things together to find out more:]
Ask more questions to continue the conversation.
Q: “Do you know what happens if you use marijuana (or other substances)?”
A: [Listen to your child’s response. Does he mention any of the consequences listed below? If not, you should mention them. We have used marijuana as the example here.]
• Smoking marijuana is illegal and could result in getting suspended or kicked out of school, being sent to jail or juvenile detention, and having a criminal record. All of these things could affect the rest of his life.
• Smoking marijuana sets a bad example for younger siblings.
• Smoking marijuana will hurt his lungs and cause him to perform poorly in sports.
• Smoking marijuana will hurt his brain and could result in memory loss, bad grades, and a loss of motivation.
• Smoking marijuana would affect his relationship with you and others he cares about.
• Smoking marijuana would affect the whole family greatly. State what the resulting consequences would be in your family.
For more discussion starters, or to get more information about teen drug use, see Parent drug resource
Communication Is Important Because… Some Kids Use Drugs To Satisfy Curiosity. Children are very curious about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. They are exposed to drug messages on TV, in the movies and videos, in newspapers and magazines, at school, on the Internet, and in conversations with friends and family. Even if we have done an outstanding job of educating and nurturing the children in our care, some children will remain curious about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Their sources of drug information may not always be accurate or have their best interests at heart. But you do. That’s why it’s important for you to know about the drugs your child may be exposed to and for you to communicate the consequences associated with them. Let your kids know that you will drug test them at home. This is a huge deterrent and your kids have a way out with their friend, “No way. My parents drug test me!”
There Is A Difference Between Boys and Girls
There’s no denying that boys and girls are different. Differences between the sexes become more obvious with the onset of puberty. So do boys’ and girls’ needs when it comes to resisting alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drug use. Boys and girls experience adolescence differently because of various social, cultural, physiological, and psychological challenges. For example, among boys, puberty tends to increase aggressive behavior, while among girls puberty tends to bring a higher incidence of depression.
Studies show that girls may lose self-confidence and self-worth during this pivotal time, become less physically active, perform less well in school, and neglect their own interests and aspirations. During these years, girls are more vulnerable to negative outside influences and to mixed messages about risky behaviors. Girls are also at higher risk than boys for sexual abuse, which has been associated with substance abuse.
Puberty generally occurs a year or two later in boys than it does in girls. The physical changes boys go through can cause a lack of coordination that may lead to injury. Boys tend to experience mood swings and can have feelings of anxiety during puberty. During these years, boys crave exploration of things associated with being grown up, including sexual behavior or experimentation with alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs. But boys and girls also have a lot in common. They need the same kinds of guidance, information, and nurture from their parents to help them grow into healthy, well-informed adolescents and adults. Both boys and girls are less likely to smoke, drink, or use illegal drugs if they have:
• A positive attitude, an ability to adapt to changing circumstances, and a belief in their ability to “handle things.”
• A warm, close-knit family and parental supervision with consistent discipline.
• Close friends, an extended family that provides support, community resources, and family and community attitudes that do not tolerate substance abuse.
Resources for parents:
• Home Drug Test – Drug test kits and supplies that are easy to use and inexpensive found at: http://www.uatests.com/types-of-drug-tests/home-drug-test.html
• Parent’s Drug Resource – Complete drug resource information about drugs, drug use, signs and symptoms, etc. found at: http://www.uatests.com/drug-testing-information/parent-drug-resource.html
Q: “What do you know about marijuana (or other substance)?”
A: [Chances are your child will have some information on marijuana (or other substance), but not all of the information may be accurate. If your child doesn’t know about the harms of marijuana (or other substance), you can do the following things together to find out more:]
Ask more questions to continue the conversation.
Q: “Do you know what happens if you use marijuana (or other substances)?”
A: [Listen to your child’s response. Does he mention any of the consequences listed below? If not, you should mention them. We have used marijuana as the example here.]
• Smoking marijuana is illegal and could result in getting suspended or kicked out of school, being sent to jail or juvenile detention, and having a criminal record. All of these things could affect the rest of his life.
• Smoking marijuana sets a bad example for younger siblings.
• Smoking marijuana will hurt his lungs and cause him to perform poorly in sports.
• Smoking marijuana will hurt his brain and could result in memory loss, bad grades, and a loss of motivation.
• Smoking marijuana would affect his relationship with you and others he cares about.
• Smoking marijuana would affect the whole family greatly. State what the resulting consequences would be in your family.
For more discussion starters, or to get more information about teen drug use, see Parent drug resource
Communication Is Important Because… Some Kids Use Drugs To Satisfy Curiosity. Children are very curious about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. They are exposed to drug messages on TV, in the movies and videos, in newspapers and magazines, at school, on the Internet, and in conversations with friends and family. Even if we have done an outstanding job of educating and nurturing the children in our care, some children will remain curious about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Their sources of drug information may not always be accurate or have their best interests at heart. But you do. That’s why it’s important for you to know about the drugs your child may be exposed to and for you to communicate the consequences associated with them. Let your kids know that you will drug test them at home. This is a huge deterrent and your kids have a way out with their friend, “No way. My parents drug test me!”
There Is A Difference Between Boys and Girls
There’s no denying that boys and girls are different. Differences between the sexes become more obvious with the onset of puberty. So do boys’ and girls’ needs when it comes to resisting alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drug use. Boys and girls experience adolescence differently because of various social, cultural, physiological, and psychological challenges. For example, among boys, puberty tends to increase aggressive behavior, while among girls puberty tends to bring a higher incidence of depression.
Studies show that girls may lose self-confidence and self-worth during this pivotal time, become less physically active, perform less well in school, and neglect their own interests and aspirations. During these years, girls are more vulnerable to negative outside influences and to mixed messages about risky behaviors. Girls are also at higher risk than boys for sexual abuse, which has been associated with substance abuse.
Puberty generally occurs a year or two later in boys than it does in girls. The physical changes boys go through can cause a lack of coordination that may lead to injury. Boys tend to experience mood swings and can have feelings of anxiety during puberty. During these years, boys crave exploration of things associated with being grown up, including sexual behavior or experimentation with alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs. But boys and girls also have a lot in common. They need the same kinds of guidance, information, and nurture from their parents to help them grow into healthy, well-informed adolescents and adults. Both boys and girls are less likely to smoke, drink, or use illegal drugs if they have:
• A positive attitude, an ability to adapt to changing circumstances, and a belief in their ability to “handle things.”
• A warm, close-knit family and parental supervision with consistent discipline.
• Close friends, an extended family that provides support, community resources, and family and community attitudes that do not tolerate substance abuse.
Resources for parents:
• Home Drug Test – Drug test kits and supplies that are easy to use and inexpensive found at: http://www.uatests.com/types-of-drug-tests/home-drug-test.html
• Parent’s Drug Resource – Complete drug resource information about drugs, drug use, signs and symptoms, etc. found at: http://www.uatests.com/drug-testing-information/parent-drug-resource.html
How To Talk To Your Kids About Drugs
First, set aside a few minutes a day. Talk about problems or challenges that might have come up during the day and discuss how you handled them. You can ask your child for his ideas on simple matters to help him build problem-solving skills. These skills can help him resist peer pressure to use alcohol and drugs to solve problems.
Decision making skills are important
Children learn how to make decisions. You can guide them with a key set of questions to ask when faced with a choice:
• What am I trying to decide and what do I know about it?
• How do I know my information is accurate? Who gave me the information?
• What more do I need to know before going ahead?
• Who has the added information I need?
Once the decision is made, ask these questions:
• What are the good effects of this decision?
• What are the bad effects?
After this, you can ask your child to reconsider a decision and take responsibility for the consequences.
Second, validate your child’s feelings. Sometimes, children react to situations in ways we think are inappropriate, silly, or overdramatic. That’s because children don’t have the benefit of our adult experience. What is minor to us may be very important to them. For example, if your child says, “Mrs. Smith doesn’t like me. She gives me too much homework,” don’t dismiss your child by saying, “That’s ridiculous. Everyone gets the same amount of homework.” Instead, validate your child’s feelings, investigate the situation, and guide her toward a better understanding of the situation. “Oh, I wouldn’t like it if I felt my teacher didn’t like me. But does everybody get the same homework assignment?” If you’re not sure you have all the facts regarding a situation, assure your child you will take action, such as talking to Mrs. Smith. This lets your child know that you respect her feelings and are willing to help her work through difficult situations.
Read more at Parent drug resource
How To Talk To Your Kids About Drugs – Part Two
Practice active listening. When you show interest in what your child has to say, he or she will open up. One technique to show you’re listening and understanding is to paraphrase what your child tells you. Try doing this the next time you have a conversation. For example, your child says, “I like playing soccer, but practice is the same time as my favorite show on TV.” You might say, “Wow, that’s a tough choice. On one hand, you really like playing soccer; on the other hand, you don’t want to miss your favorite show.”
Ask questions. Children have a lot to share when they think their opinions matter. Ask for your child’s input about family decisions. These decisions may range from what to have for dinner to where to go for a family outing. Showing your interest in her opinion will make your child feel more comfortable about opening up to you.
If you are successful in establishing open lines of communication with your child about day-to-day events, he or she will be more likely to seek your input on more serious issues as well. Many of the skills you use in daily conversations may prove useful when discussing tougher issues.
How To Talk To Your Kids About Drugs – Part Three
Express thoughts and feelings. Being able to express thoughts and feelings with someone we feel comfortable around—whether it is a spouse, a coworker, or a friend—can make all the difference in how we feel about ourselves and in how we interact with the world around us.
Similarly, young people need opportunities to express their thoughts and new feelings. When we try to limit the thoughts and feelings of our children, we take a great deal away from them. When we deny that their feelings are real, we are denying that children are individuals with their own perceptions. Young people who are taught to express themselves have an easier time dealing with peer pressure and resisting other temptations.
Resources for parents:
• Parent’s Drug Resource - http://www.uatests.com/drug-testing-information/parent-drug-resource.html
• Home Drug Test Kits - http://www.uatests.com/types-of-drug-tests/home-drug-test.html
Decision making skills are important
Children learn how to make decisions. You can guide them with a key set of questions to ask when faced with a choice:
• What am I trying to decide and what do I know about it?
• How do I know my information is accurate? Who gave me the information?
• What more do I need to know before going ahead?
• Who has the added information I need?
Once the decision is made, ask these questions:
• What are the good effects of this decision?
• What are the bad effects?
After this, you can ask your child to reconsider a decision and take responsibility for the consequences.
Second, validate your child’s feelings. Sometimes, children react to situations in ways we think are inappropriate, silly, or overdramatic. That’s because children don’t have the benefit of our adult experience. What is minor to us may be very important to them. For example, if your child says, “Mrs. Smith doesn’t like me. She gives me too much homework,” don’t dismiss your child by saying, “That’s ridiculous. Everyone gets the same amount of homework.” Instead, validate your child’s feelings, investigate the situation, and guide her toward a better understanding of the situation. “Oh, I wouldn’t like it if I felt my teacher didn’t like me. But does everybody get the same homework assignment?” If you’re not sure you have all the facts regarding a situation, assure your child you will take action, such as talking to Mrs. Smith. This lets your child know that you respect her feelings and are willing to help her work through difficult situations.
Read more at Parent drug resource
How To Talk To Your Kids About Drugs – Part Two
Practice active listening. When you show interest in what your child has to say, he or she will open up. One technique to show you’re listening and understanding is to paraphrase what your child tells you. Try doing this the next time you have a conversation. For example, your child says, “I like playing soccer, but practice is the same time as my favorite show on TV.” You might say, “Wow, that’s a tough choice. On one hand, you really like playing soccer; on the other hand, you don’t want to miss your favorite show.”
Ask questions. Children have a lot to share when they think their opinions matter. Ask for your child’s input about family decisions. These decisions may range from what to have for dinner to where to go for a family outing. Showing your interest in her opinion will make your child feel more comfortable about opening up to you.
If you are successful in establishing open lines of communication with your child about day-to-day events, he or she will be more likely to seek your input on more serious issues as well. Many of the skills you use in daily conversations may prove useful when discussing tougher issues.
How To Talk To Your Kids About Drugs – Part Three
Express thoughts and feelings. Being able to express thoughts and feelings with someone we feel comfortable around—whether it is a spouse, a coworker, or a friend—can make all the difference in how we feel about ourselves and in how we interact with the world around us.
Similarly, young people need opportunities to express their thoughts and new feelings. When we try to limit the thoughts and feelings of our children, we take a great deal away from them. When we deny that their feelings are real, we are denying that children are individuals with their own perceptions. Young people who are taught to express themselves have an easier time dealing with peer pressure and resisting other temptations.
Resources for parents:
• Parent’s Drug Resource - http://www.uatests.com/drug-testing-information/parent-drug-resource.html
• Home Drug Test Kits - http://www.uatests.com/types-of-drug-tests/home-drug-test.html
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Parents: Talk To Your Child About Drugs
If you could do one thing that would help your child succeed in school, live a healthier life, and develop to his or her fullest potential, would you do it?
If you answered “yes,” then talk with your child about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Find out what he or she knows. Explain to her that using these substances can interfere with studying and can cause grades to suffer by affecting memory and learning skills. Describe the harmful health effects of these substances. Let him know how these substances can cause problems in relationships and among friends and can tear families apart. Study after study has found that parents make a difference in the choices their children make. For more information on advice for parents, see Parent Drug Resource. Parents, please know that you make a difference!
By the time they enter preschool, most children have seen adults smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol either in real life or in the media, or both. Children today are exposed to illegal drugs as early as elementary school, so it’s never too early to talk with your child about drugs.
Do You Want Your Kid To Be Drug Free?
If you want to help keep your kids drug free, you are the key! Here are seven action steps you can take to help keep your kids off of drugs:
1. Establish and maintain good communication with your child.
2. Get involved in your child’s life.
3. Make clear rules and enforce them with consistency and appropriate consequences.
4. Be a positive role model.
5. Teach your child to choose friends wisely.
6. Monitor your child’s activities.
7. Drug test your kids.
Focus on these seven key things and you will go a long way to help your child grow up drug free.
Drugs Are Everywhere
Drug use among teens cuts across all ethnic, geographic, and socioeconomic lines. Youth, especially teens, experience pressure to use alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs at increasingly early ages. In fact, in one survey, adolescents ages 12 to 17 named drugs (along with social and academic pressures) as the most important problem they face. “Every child in America is a risk of using drugs, regardless of race, ethnicity, or economic status.’ -National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse II.
The 2002 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) states that:
Among surveyed youths, ages 12 to 17, more than 1 in 9 (11.6 percent) reported current use of illegal drugs in the 30 days before the study.
• Marijuana is the major illegal drug used by this group; 8.2 percent of youths were current users of marijuana in 2002.
• Among 12 and 13-year-olds surveyed, 4.2 percent reported current illegal drug use. The primary drugs used by 12 and 13-year-olds were marijuana, nonmedical use of prescription pain relievers, and inhalants.
Statistics show that, fortunately, the majority of youth do not use drugs. However, some parents still underestimate how often their kids are exposed to drugs. According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America (an organization that conducts attitude surveys of youth and parents):
• Eighteen percent of parents think their child has tried marijuana versus 40 percent of teens who say they have tried marijuana.
• Thirty-one percent of parents believe their teen has been offered drugs versus 52 percent of teens who say they have been offered drugs.
• Four percent of parents think their child has abused inhalants versus 19 percent of teens who say they have abused inhalants.
If your child uses drugs, what other risks might he face? According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):
• Youth, ages 12 to 17, who smoke cigarettes are over 8 times more likely to use illegal drugs and over 17 times more likely to drink heavily than nonsmoking youth.
• Youth, ages 12 to 17, who use marijuana weekly are nine times more likely than nonusers to experiment with illegal drugs or alcohol, six times more likely to run away from home, five times more likely to steal, nearly four times more likely to engage in violence, and three times more likely to have thoughts about committing suicide.
Drug use among teens prevalent! Parents, don’t put you head in the sand. Look up, more importantly, look at your kids. They are being tempted nearly every day with drugs and alcohol. If you drug test your teen, they are more likely to say no!
Drug Test Resources:
Parents Drug Resource - http://www.uatests.com/drug-testing-information/parent-drug-resource.html
Home Drug Test - http://www.uatests.com/types-of-drug-tests/home-drug-test.html
Marijuana Drug Test - http://www.uatests.com/drug-test-by-drug/thc-marijuana.html
If you answered “yes,” then talk with your child about alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs. Find out what he or she knows. Explain to her that using these substances can interfere with studying and can cause grades to suffer by affecting memory and learning skills. Describe the harmful health effects of these substances. Let him know how these substances can cause problems in relationships and among friends and can tear families apart. Study after study has found that parents make a difference in the choices their children make. For more information on advice for parents, see Parent Drug Resource. Parents, please know that you make a difference!
By the time they enter preschool, most children have seen adults smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol either in real life or in the media, or both. Children today are exposed to illegal drugs as early as elementary school, so it’s never too early to talk with your child about drugs.
Do You Want Your Kid To Be Drug Free?
If you want to help keep your kids drug free, you are the key! Here are seven action steps you can take to help keep your kids off of drugs:
1. Establish and maintain good communication with your child.
2. Get involved in your child’s life.
3. Make clear rules and enforce them with consistency and appropriate consequences.
4. Be a positive role model.
5. Teach your child to choose friends wisely.
6. Monitor your child’s activities.
7. Drug test your kids.
Focus on these seven key things and you will go a long way to help your child grow up drug free.
Drugs Are Everywhere
Drug use among teens cuts across all ethnic, geographic, and socioeconomic lines. Youth, especially teens, experience pressure to use alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs at increasingly early ages. In fact, in one survey, adolescents ages 12 to 17 named drugs (along with social and academic pressures) as the most important problem they face. “Every child in America is a risk of using drugs, regardless of race, ethnicity, or economic status.’ -National Survey of American Attitudes on Substance Abuse II.
The 2002 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) states that:
Among surveyed youths, ages 12 to 17, more than 1 in 9 (11.6 percent) reported current use of illegal drugs in the 30 days before the study.
• Marijuana is the major illegal drug used by this group; 8.2 percent of youths were current users of marijuana in 2002.
• Among 12 and 13-year-olds surveyed, 4.2 percent reported current illegal drug use. The primary drugs used by 12 and 13-year-olds were marijuana, nonmedical use of prescription pain relievers, and inhalants.
Statistics show that, fortunately, the majority of youth do not use drugs. However, some parents still underestimate how often their kids are exposed to drugs. According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America (an organization that conducts attitude surveys of youth and parents):
• Eighteen percent of parents think their child has tried marijuana versus 40 percent of teens who say they have tried marijuana.
• Thirty-one percent of parents believe their teen has been offered drugs versus 52 percent of teens who say they have been offered drugs.
• Four percent of parents think their child has abused inhalants versus 19 percent of teens who say they have abused inhalants.
If your child uses drugs, what other risks might he face? According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):
• Youth, ages 12 to 17, who smoke cigarettes are over 8 times more likely to use illegal drugs and over 17 times more likely to drink heavily than nonsmoking youth.
• Youth, ages 12 to 17, who use marijuana weekly are nine times more likely than nonusers to experiment with illegal drugs or alcohol, six times more likely to run away from home, five times more likely to steal, nearly four times more likely to engage in violence, and three times more likely to have thoughts about committing suicide.
Drug use among teens prevalent! Parents, don’t put you head in the sand. Look up, more importantly, look at your kids. They are being tempted nearly every day with drugs and alcohol. If you drug test your teen, they are more likely to say no!
Drug Test Resources:
Parents Drug Resource - http://www.uatests.com/drug-testing-information/parent-drug-resource.html
Home Drug Test - http://www.uatests.com/types-of-drug-tests/home-drug-test.html
Marijuana Drug Test - http://www.uatests.com/drug-test-by-drug/thc-marijuana.html
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