Your Teen May Be At A Crossroads

Parents are sometimes afraid that they will push their children away by talking to them about drug use. You may be worried that your child will get in trouble with the law and that it may affect his or her ability to qualify for scholarships or get a job. But kids who make a choice — one or more times — to use drugs or alcohol are at a crossroads and need your help. Overcoming your own fears is an important step in getting help for your child. See our Parents Drug Resource page for more information.

Family members — even parents — sometimes introduce kids to drugs. Parents need to acknowledge their own problem if they are going to help their children with theirs.

The most important thing to remember is that it is never too early or too late to take action regarding your kid’s drug use. Parents are the most important part of a kid’s life; your actions on their behalf can make a difference.

When you have a suspicion, what do you do? First, learn as much as you can. Check out various resources (see our other posts).

The next thing you can do is sit down and talk with your child. Be sure to have the conversation when all of you are calm and have plenty of time. This isn’t an easy task. Your feelings may range from anger to guilt, or you may feel that you have “failed” because your kid is using drugs. This isn’t true. By staying involved, you can help them stop using drugs and make choices that will make a positive difference in their lives.

Tell your child what you see and how you feel about it. Be specific about the things you have observed that cause concern. Make it known that you found drug paraphernalia (or empty bottles or cans). Explain exactly how their behavior or appearance (bloodshot eyes, different clothing) has changed and why that worries you. Tell them you’ve noticed that they have new friends that you don’t necessarily know or approve of.

Let your kids know that you love them and that you will drug test them. When your kids know that you do drug test them, they have a great excuse for their friends, "No way, my parents drug test me!" Many parents wait until it is too late to drug test. The truth is, there is no good excuse not to drug test your teens. For more information, see our Home Drug Test page.

It is important to set clear ground rules in your family about drug and alcohol use — e.g., in this family, we don’t smoke marijuana — and to let your kids know that you will enforce these rules.

Have this discussion without getting mad or accusing your child of being stupid or bad or an embarrassment to the family. Knowing that kids are naturally private about their lives, try to find out what’s going on in your child’s life. What is he doing? When was the last time he used? Did he do anything that he regrets? Try not to make the discussion an inquisition; simply try to connect with your teen. Find out if friends or others offered your child drugs at a party or school. Did they try it just out of curiosity, or did they take the initiative to use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? That alone will be a signal to your child that you take your responsibility as a parent seriously and that you will exercise your parental rights.